Friday, March 11, 2005

A Tale of Great Wealth, Large Quantities, and the Laughing Gnome

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What's in the powder blue tupperware, you ask? What's presently 7 inches from my leg as I type, beckoning, mocking me? What weighs a net of .5 ounces? I'll leave it up to all of you peoples' well lubricated imaginations. To be fair only half of this bounty is mine, as the other half is destined for my well-rhythmed Irish crusader. Still, it represents quite a significant challenge to the strength of my commitment.

I saw "In My Country" last night at the "independent" theatre in Santa Monica. If there truly has been any circumstance to make me violate my prohibition, it was after witnessing such a well meaning, but horribly executed movie. It had Samuel L. Jackson, and there was not one scene in which he referred to himself as a "Bad Motherfucker" or unleashed badass Jedi lightsaber skills. Instead it was a poorly written, edited and directed film. I have not seen such a bad movie since Million Dollar Baby. But, I digress.

Damn if they can't make a movie worth watching. Even the trailer for Star Wars Episode 3 makes me cringe. I will certainly go, to be dazzled by George Lucas' capacity to make movies that look like video games. The fellow who plays Anakin Skywalker however seems to be getting LESS emotionally capable of playing the character. What would otherwise be a good cast is ruined by the fact that you have no connection WHATSOEVER to Princess Amigdala and Skywalker. Fuck you Lucas! For stomping on my childhood. You should've just kept making video games on your franchise and I would be happy. But instead, you're an old obstinate bastard who refuses to do what make Eps 5 and 6 good which is to share the writing duties and RELINQUISH your directorial responsibilities... because you're a horrible director. But, now it's all about ego. You bastard. If I can find a way to sneak into the movie when it opens (which I won't) that would be optimal. Garbage! I laugh at you silly Frogman!


At 9:10 AM, Anonymous Target said...

What about new hitchhikers guide?

At 4:21 PM, Anonymous Sir Richard Cranium said...

no shit..."independent" my ass...WHERE'S FUCKING "ONG BAK"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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